Starting Over at 50 Doesn’t Mean Starting From Scratch
Let’s be honest…
The words “starting over” sound a lot more daunting and scary than it really is.
Because the truth is…
Starting over in your 50s and beyond doesn’t mean starting back at square one.
Sometimes it simply means your life has changed.
Maybe you chose the change. Maybe life chose it for you. Or maybe it was a little of both.
However it came about…the good news is, you’re the author of your story.
And you get to decide what this next chapter of your life looks like.
Because midlife often frees up something you may not have had in years…
Time. And space for yourself.
Maybe your kids moved out, and suddenly your days are your own again.
Maybe you recently retired, and you finally have the freedom to do what you want every day.
Maybe you’re newly single…and for the first time in years, you get to put yourself first.
However it came about…
Suddenly, you have more time and freedom than you’ve had in years.
That time…it’s finally yours.
And now you get to decide what to do with it.
Which is exciting…
But the truth is, it can also make you feel a little uneasy at first…because you’re not used to putting yourself first.
So take a deep breath…
This is the beginning of a new chapter.
Give Yourself Permission to Put Yourself First
As a Life Coach for Women Over 50, I see this all the time and it’s a big one for women in midlife and beyond.
So many of us have spent decades taking care of everyone else.
Children. Parents. Partners. Family. Friends.
There’s always someone who needs something.
So when I say it’s time to put yourself first…I’m not saying stop caring about the people you love.
I’m not saying become selfish.
This is more about moving yourself up to the top of your list.
Sometimes that means saying ‘no’ to someone else…so you can say ‘yes’ to yourself.
Maybe you don’t take on one more obligation…because you need a little time for you.
Maybe you finally sign up for the class you’ve been talking about for years.
Maybe you plan a trip that you’ve always wanted to go on.
Maybe you try the one thing you’ve always been curious about.
You don’t have to completely change your whole life overnight.
You just get to start making room for yourself in it.
So I Made a Big Change
That’s exactly what I had to do in my 50s.
When my life completely shifted and old chapters ended.
I finally started putting myself first…and asking what I really wanted next in my life.
And that’s when I decided it was time to make a big move after 22 years.
Move out of NYC.
As much as I love NYC, and I still do…it was time for a big change in my life.
I didn’t know where I wanted to move…but after looking at so many different cities, it honestly just came to me one day.
Newport Beach, CA.
Deep down inside, I knew that’s where I wanted to live.
And a weird sense of calm washed over me…
That’s how I knew it was the right place for me.
So I moved across the country…from New York City to California.
It was exciting and scary all at once.
It was a big change and I didn’t know what was next…but I knew in my heart of hearts, it’s what I wanted.
I was running toward a new chapter in my life.
I felt so alive again.
It was the start of something new.
A new beginning.
And I couldn’t wait to see what was next.
Life Doesn’t Always Go As Planned
Before I could get fully settled into my new city, life threw me a major curveball.
I was diagnosed with a rare cancer.
That definitely wasn’t part of the plan I envisioned when I moved across country.
Not gonna lie…
It completely knocked me down…and it was hard to get back up.
But here’s what I learned…
We can make all the plans we want…and think that we have everything under control.
But it doesn’t matter, because life happens.
And we can’t control everything that happens along the way.
When we get knocked down…
As strong women, we get back up.
And make the best of the hand we were dealt.
And for me, getting knocked down changed everything about what I wanted next in my life.
The First Question to Ask Yourself
Because after my diagnosis, one question kept running through my mind…
What do I want most in my life right now?
And that’s the very same question I want you to ask yourself, too.
Don’t wait for a wake-up call like I got.
Think about what will make you happy right now.
Not what would make other people happy.
Not what you’re “supposed” to be doing for others.
What matters most to you now?
The first thing I thought was…
I wanted to live my best life NOW!
I couldn’t wait for someday anymore. It had to happen here and now.
Because before that diagnosis…I’m a little embarrassed to admit…all I did was work.
I was always busy.
I always had a deadline.
I loved my work. But I’d made it such a priority that everything I wanted to do personally kept getting pushed aside for later.
Travel. Fun. New experiences. Time with friends.
Work would always be there…
Until that day I was diagnosed, I realized…
What exactly was I waiting for?
What “Living My Best Life Now” Actually Changed
What “Living My Best Life Now” Actually ChangedDeciding what mattered most was one thing.
Actually living it was another.
So I stopped working such long hours.
And I got intentional about doing the things that made me happy now…instead of waiting for “someday.”
Because someday is today.
For me, one of those things was spending time with friends.
Friends who make me smile. Laugh. And who I just enjoy being around.
So I made it a point to ask my friends to get together.
Nothing elaborate. Lunch. Dinner. A walk.
Just spending time together.
Because I’d realized how much my well-being depended on being around positive friends I liked, who made my life better.
That might sound like a small change.
But that’s exactly the point.
Starting over doesn’t always happen through one giant decision.
Sometimes it happens through a series of small choices…that slowly change the way your everyday life feels.
Why Starting Over At 50 Can Feel Scary
Even when you know you want something different…
Change can still be scary.
One of the biggest things I see holding women in midlife back is…the fear of the unknown.
Because there’s comfort in your routine (trust me, I know).
You know what to expect. You know how your days work. You know your role.
Even if you’re not fully happy with things…they’re familiar.
And when life pulls you out of that routine, the fears creep in…
What will my life look like?
What if I make the wrong decision?
What if it doesn’t work out?
Am I too old to change things now?
That last one is the big one.
“Is it too late?”
Spoiler alert…it’s not too late. I’m living proof.
When I was facing my own fears, I thought about my life 20 years down the road.
And I knew I didn’t want to look back with regret…
Wishing I’d done the things I wanted to do when I was in my 50s.
My fear of regret far outweighed the fear of doing it.
Take One Step
Here’s the one thing that holds many of us back, before we even start.
We assume that one day we’ll suddenly feel brave enough…certain enough…ready enough.
And then we’ll finally take action.
But in my experience, as a Life Coach for Women Over 50…it actually works the other way around.
You take action first.
And then your confidence grows.
Because you don’t have to have your entire life figured out.
You don’t need a five-year plan, or even a one-year plan.
You don’t need to know exactly who you’re becoming.
You just need to know what you want most right now…and take one step toward it.
If you want more friendship, ask one person to lunch.
If you want more adventure, find one activity you’d like to try.
If you want to travel, research one place you’ve always wanted to go…and go!
If retirement has left you wondering what’s next, choose one thing to explore this month.
If you don’t even know what you enjoy anymore…start experimenting.
You don’t need the perfect answer.
You just need somewhere to begin.
And if you have no idea what you want yet? That’s okay too.
Start smaller.
Think about what you miss.
What have you been putting off?
What used to make you happy that quietly slipped out of your life?
What have you always wanted to try?
Pay attention to what comes up.
Then choose one thing.
Not ten.
One.
Because one step does something that thinking never can.
It builds confidence.
And confidence makes the next step easier. Then the next. Then the next.
Until one day you look around…and realize your life has already started to change.
That’s what starting over at 50 really looks like.
Not wiping the slate clean.
Not pretending the past didn’t happen.
Not becoming a completely different person.
It’s deciding that whatever has changed…by choice or by circumstance…you get to say what happens next.
I’m in my 60s now. And I’m so glad I didn’t wait to live my best life now.
Because I still come back to that same thought…
I don’t want to look back 20 years from now and wish I’d lived differently when I had the chance.
And I don’t want that for you either.
So ask yourself…
What do I want most?
And then don’t just think about it.
Take one step.
You might be surprised where it leads…to the life you always dreamed about.
Ready to meet new friends?
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