Let’s face it…no matter how old you are, it still stings when you’re left out by friends.
And it hurts even more, when you were the one being kind in the first place to a new friend who moved to your town.
In this episode of Dear Suzanne…
A woman shared how she went out of her way to welcome a new person in town and introduced her to her own circle of friends.
But instead of gratitude, this new friend became friends with her friends and she got left out, over and over again.
Now she’s hurt and wondering whether she should say something to the new friend.
If you’ve ever been in her shoes, you already know how confusing and painful it can be when you’re left out of friend get togethers.
Watch the short video above for my full take and how I coach her through the situation. Then keep reading for more on why this happens and how to handle it.
Why Being Left Out By Friends Hurts So Much
Being excluded taps into something deep.
We’re wired for connection and belonging, so when a friend leaves us out, it can bring up old feelings of rejection that go all the way back to childhood.
In midlife, it can sting even more.
Friendships already feel harder to build at this stage of life, so when one goes sideways, it can feel like a bigger loss than it might have years ago.
But here’s what I want you to remember: being left out by a friend says far more about her han it does about you.
What To Do When A Friend Excludes You
When someone excludes you on purpose, your first instinct might be to confront them.
And sometimes that’s the right move. But often, it isn’t.
Before you say anything, ask yourself one honest question…
Is this someone you actually want to still be friends with?
The answer changes everything about how you respond.
In the video, I walk through exactly how I’d handle this situation, why speaking up isn’t always worth it, and the two things I think are worth holding onto when a friend leaves you out.
You Deserve Friends Who Show Up For You
The right friends won’t purposefully leave you out.
The right friends will include you, they’ll celebrate you, and they’ll show you through their actions how much you matter to them.
If you’re navigating a painful friendship or trying to build new, genuine connections in midlife, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Get Support Making Genuine Friendships in Midlife
I’m Suzanne Oshima, a Life Coach for Women Over 50, and I help women make new connections, build genuine friendships, and thrive in midlife together.
Have a friendship situation of your own? Send me an email, and your question could be the next one I answer in a Dear Suzanne video.
Ready to meet new friends?
If you’re ready to meet new friends and you just want a little guidance…
Get my free eBook, It’s Never Too Late to Make New Friends in Midlife.
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